Taming The Beast

Often I feel that I am training a wild animal in dealing with my two-year old. I had a dream last night that I worked in a circus training lions. Is that symbolic or what?

Like an animal in the wild, I have to be careful how close I get to my child. I don't know if all children are like this, but an arm or a foot or a princess phone may come crashing into my face at any moment. I just can't be too careful. I know it sounds terrible, but it's true!

I have said this before in front of other mothers and received blank stares in return. Of course, if you look at my little girl, she appears to be the most mild mannered child ever to grace the surface of this planet. I mean, the child is 100% girly, walks around on her tiptoes and says "please" and "thank you" in the tiniest little fairy voice. But appearances can be deceiving. There is a reason those cute little tiger cubs are behind a cage at the zoo.

Just tonight I was tickling her and making her laugh. Suddenly a wave of hyperactivity shot through her and before I knew it she had clawed me just beneath my left eye. And it wasn't just a small haphazard nail swipe across the face. This was a full-fisted, nails-dug-in, grab Mommy's upper cheek skin and TWIST kind of action. And seeing that it's been over a week since I last cut her super-fast-growing fingernails, the little wild animal claws that gripped my left cheek HURT and left tiny piercings that stung like you-know-what!

It's not that I constantly keep a safe distance from my girl. In fact, I'm sort of addicted to cuddling her. But I always know I'm taking a risk in it. It's sort of an analogy for life I suppose. I mean, love always involves a little risk. But does it have to involve being kicked in the nose???

Another wild-animal trait is the amazing temper tantrums I have witnessed. Luckily, she has only had three MAJOR fits, and for the most part she is fairly well behaved, quiet and compliant. However, just like a chimp, my little two-year-old is prone to "turn" sooner or later.

The first time it happened I couldn't believe my eyes... and ears! I seriously thought something was really wrong with her. Surely this was a major seizure or some type of allergy-induced reaction!

Since around 18 months, there has often been some sort of major upset behavior displayed when she really wants something and is told "no". Usually this involves crying, or running away, or sulking, or "air hitting" (she pretends to hit me but only does it in the air). There were times where I thought she was throwing a tantrum, but it wasn't until that first REAL tantrum that I knew what a tantrum REALLY looked like.

It was a normal night by all accounts. Daddy read her books while she sipped milk from her favorite princess cup. She tiptoed to the bathroom to brush her teeth and daintily skipped towards me so I could sing her songs and tuck her in. As I started the first song we usually sing in our nightly routine, Baa-baa Black Sheep, she became visibly disturbed "No Mommy, NO! I sing that song!" Well, I try not to let her boss me around so I said that Mommy was going to sing it and she could sing with me if she liked.

This did not go over well with her.

Before I knew it I had a raging animal in my arms! In frustration I said that song-time was over and that she was going to bed. That she could not act like this.

This also did not go over well with her.

Minutes later all kinds of wild animal sounds were coming through the walls of her room. I looked at Matt and said "What do we do?" I was clueless. A few minutes went by. The hysterical screaming continued. And when I say 'hysterical screaming', I mean all kinds of grunting, growling, and howling kinds of noises. I finally went into her room to find her, for the very first time, attempting to climb over her crib. She had also turned on the overhead light in her room (its within reach from her crib but she NEVER turns it on). She had thrown everything out of her crib, creating violent piles of blankets and lovies. Her hair was matted to her face with tears and snot and she had also attempted to undress herself. It was astounding. One moment she was a precious angel, the next a ferrel cat in a frenzy.

Okay, so I realize I have compared my beloved child to tigers, chimps and other various types of wild animals, but one must admit that two-year-olds have quite a lot of wild frustration to vent. I will say that my little beast gives me the most unbelievable loving moments. Her hugs and kisses are little treasures and I truly do cherish this age, despite the drawbacks. Her excitement over simple things like ice cream or family walks down the street is exhilarating. The sheer joy she expresses over a small accomplishment is heavenly to watch. And when she "tells me a secret" and whispers "I love you so much Mommy" in my ear, I have to smile and say that any distress I feel while attempting to "tame the beast", melts away with every joyful gesture she offers in return.

So, as crazy as it sounds, I do love this age and I don't wish it away by ANY MEANS! But I am seriously considering a future in wild animal taming. Maybe the Memphis zoo needs some extra hands in the Cat Country exhibit.