Reluctant Suburbanite - or - The Plunge

So, we moved to the 'burbs. Yup, we took The Plunge. I said I'd never do it. I said I'd always be an Urbanite. But alas, the 'burbs have won the battle for my mind. Not my heart, mind you. My heart still belongs in a city.

So why did we take The Plunge? Well, I'll tell you.

First and foremost is our daughter. You see, she is this delicate creature, sensitive, petite, and amazingly innocent. And the idea of sending her off to school full time once kindergarten arrives is beyond terrifying for me. No, I'm not one of those moms who can never be apart from my child. I have no problem having wonderful "me time" or date nights or girls nights or whatever. But when it comes time to send her off Monday - Friday for 7 hours a day, it's going to be pretty darn hard on me. I've watched one of my best friends do it this year with her oldest who is in kindergarten. And watching that really got my wheels turning for the future.

I used to say I would never send my child to private school, that I didn't want my child growing up in a sheltered bubble like I did. But recently, my opinions have shifted. When I look at her - the delicate thing she is - and I watch friends sending their kids off to kindergarten, when I see the amount of time these kids are apart from their families, the picture becomes more in focus and reality sets in: I want my child in a sheltered environment! I want to protect her little innocence as long as humanly possible! Of course I know her life is really in God's hands, and that she is always in his protection, but I want to keep this little bird close to the nest as long as possible, so that her strength in character is more developed when it's really time to fly on her own. I know people reading this will disagree with me, but that's why we are all different. That's why we parent differently, have different jobs, live in different areas. And we live by our personal convictions. And lately, my personal conviction is to do exactly what I said I would never do - raise my child in a sheltered environment. Not a "bubble" mind you. I want her to experience life outside of these suburban boundaries. I want her to be a part of our diverse culture. But I also want her in a school where the test scores are phenomenal, where the teachers are excellent, where the atmosphere is familiar. I want a school that I know a lot about because other friends send their kids there. Is this kind of school even out there? Well, yeah. In Williamson County.

Seeing how private school is ridiculously expensive, I researched to find the best public school system in the Nashville area for my delicate little bird. And Williamson County Schools had by far the best test scores and the best parent reviews (you can find all of this info online). And most important to me, were the testimonies of friends who currently have children enrolled in WC schools and testimonies of teachers I know in the system. So, we decided on WC schools. But do you know where you have to live to attend these schools? You guessed it - Williamson County. In other words - The Suburbs.

So, we sucked up our poor attitude towards the 'burbs and made The Plunge. And CRAZILY we bought a house in the neighborhood where I lived from age 9 - 18. The same neighborhood my parents moved to when they took The Plunge back in the 80's. The same neighborhood I so longed to leave and never come back to when I was a kid. How's that for irony?

I said I'd never do it - live in the suburbs that is. Well, never say never, right?

So here we are, living life on a cul-da-sac, with our two car garage, our invisible fence for the dogs, surrounded by thousands of kids and play grounds galore. What's next? A minivan? I'd be lying if I told you I didn't want one. Yes, it's officially happened. We are the next generation of Reluctant Suburbanites.

Do I miss our urban life? Of course! I miss great restaurants around the corner, libraries within walking distance, being in the middle of all the action. I miss the diversity, the realness of living in the city. But I don't miss it enough to regret what we have done. Being in the city has its price tag. Where we are now is idealistic for my child and any future children, no - I'm not pregnant - SERIOUSLY, STOP ASKING).

Do I miss having my car stolen TWICE, having the car broken into, fearing a home invasion, and the sketchy foot traffic? NOT AT ALL. Now, some of that was living in Memphis, which has a higher crime rate (especially for auto theft) but nevertheless it was the price we paid to live "in the city". Do bad things happen in the 'burbs? Of course, but statistically crime happens A LOT less. In Memphis when we were considering a move to Germantown (Memphis burbs), I researched the crime on the Memphis Police Department website, which has a crime map, and Germantown was nearly crime free. Where we were living in the city, crime was pretty rampant. People will tell you "crime happens everywhere". And it does. But it happens much, much less where we are, statistically speaking.

I will say that moving the 'burbs wasn't a move we made out of fear. We didn't move out here because we feared sending our child to a school that was not as sheltered as we would have liked. And we didn't move out here because we were sick and tired of constantly looking over our shoulders when getting out of our cars in the driveway (we were by the way). We moved out here because we wanted our child(ren) to have the best education available. We moved out here because we wanted a neighborhood where our child(ren) could be surrounded with other kids. Because this neighborhood has a swim team, a pool, and tons of family activities. There is real community in this neighborhood. One of my best friends in the universe lives here, a college friend, and other various friends from times past. My parents live here. Our child(ren) will be able to ride a bike to visit FAMILY, which is HUGE. I would have killed to have been able to see my grandparents like that as a kid!

We moved out here mostly (if not entirely) for our daughter. And while it hurt a little to give up some of the things we loved about living in the city (living in the burbs has a price tag too), in the end, we knew we were making the best choice for us as a family.

I've learned a few things since taking The Plunge. First of all, The Plunge isn't so bad at all. In fact, it's pretty nice. I like my house. I love it. I LOVE the space - the space that we could not have had "in the city". People say it's so expensive to live in Williamson County. Um, well, no it's actually not. You save a TON in taxes in Williamson County. And you know what? It's beautiful out here. The drive to and from Matt's work is just breathtaking. There's something that happens to my frame of mind while I'm sitting in three lanes of traffic surrounded by shops and buildings. I become unglued. Out here, I gaze at horses prancing in fields, deer jumping across fences, and beautiful old trees set against a backdrop of soft hills. Driving here is relaxing (as long as I'm not being tailed by another car!). It's also nice to feel like I can leave my doors unlocked. To have neighbors who make an effort to befriend us, to have a Publix down the road. Have I mentioned how much I love Publix? It's heaven's version of a grocery store.

I've learned not to judge people. I used to snub the 'burbs. I used to think I was better than moving out and away from everything. I found some of my identity in being urban. Well, I've been through an identity crisis of sorts since moving out here. What I snubbed is what I have become. Serves me right I suppose. But at the end of my life am I really going to say "Gee, I wish I had lived closer to the art museum." ??? Or "Gosh Golly, I should have moved to the suburbs sooner!" Of course not! Because it doesn't really matter WHERE you are. It's WHO YOU ARE WITH. It's who you chose to do life with. And I'm thankful I've got a street where there are moms who are just a tad older than me, with older kids, who I can look to for guidance. I'm thankful that my dear friend from 3rd grade lives a minute's drive from my house. I'm thankful that my high school best friend is 7 minutes away and that new friendships are budding. Remember the old song "Make new friends but keep the old?" We've got some great friends here, some we are trying to talk into moving OUT HERE with us... (wink) And last but not least, I'm thankful that we have family in town, just down the street. And I actually live in the same town again with a sibling!

And one last thing about this neighborhood - Why we liked it - It's an "older" neighborhood in that it was built in the 70's. Of course, we laugh at that being thought of as "old", coming from a house built in 1925. But the fact that this neighborhood is 25 years old gives the houses a little more character than your typical suburban house. And what I found after living in an old home, and after looking at all kinds of houses while house hunting is that I'm not a big fan of "new construction". I can't tell you why exactly, but there's something about a house that's been "lived in" that appeals to me. And, I'm not a fan of HUGE OPEN FLOOR PLANS because it feels less like a house and more like a hotel or restaurant. But don't get your feelings hurt, because I'm just about the only person on the planet who doesn't like new construction/huge open floor plans. My Realtor was shocked by how much I don't like "what everyone else likes". Oh well, I'm a freak.

Well, that's why we moved where we are. And we don't regret it. My heart still belongs to the city. But I can visit it in twenty short minutes any time I like. Yes, there are sacrifices made. But that's just part of living life. So, I'm back not only in the town I grew up, but literally one street away from the house I grew up in. My neighbors consist of an old youth pastor of mine, my high school guidance counselor, and countless other people from my past. It's surreal, and at times a little unnerving. It's like I never left this place 15 years ago when I graduated high school. I go to the grocery store and run in to someone from my past EVERY SINGLE TIME. At times its like running into ghosts. But I'm not who I was when I left this part of the globe to venture off on my adult life years ago. I've got a man now, and a little girl, and two insane dogs.

So, we have begun the process of assimilating into my old stomping ground, as a new little family, with our own identity: Reluctant Suburbanites putting down roots in an area they never envisioned life taking them. Laughing at the irony, listening to the silence from the absence of city traffic. Trying not to drive into Cool Springs too often (the land of Best Buy, Costco and the mall). Always finding excuses to take a 20 min. drive back to the city. Feeling good about our choice, yet odd and a little out of place.